Jessica Alba, who already has good skin (photo: Wenn)

I was out with my friend E, bemoaning the weather, my job, my general inertia, and their very sad and noticeable effects on my skin. He said, “Why don’t you take a lover?”

E is a gay man who came of age in the 80s and is refreshingly amoral about all things sexual. He may as well have said, “Why don’t you take up knitting?”, as if he were suggesting a harmless hobby.

There are many reasons why I wouldn’t take a lover. I’m married. I’m tired. And I don’t know where to find a lover. But that doesn’t answer the essential burning question: Would taking a lover give me better skin?

E gives me all sorts of tips on how to pick up a guy, most of which involve going to a spa or a disco. But it’s different for gay men. According to E, they take lovers like we heterosexuals take walks to the corner store.

When did marriage for heterosexuals become so determinedly monogamous? We don’t even use the word “lover.” It’s like some dinosaur from the supposedly swinging ’70s, or that French movie where the lady goes to a wedding with her husband and leaves with her new lover on a Vespa.

Why don’t I take a lover? Well, obviously I never considered that more sex could give me better skin.

On the train ride home I slyly glance at the semi-hot man next to me. “Are you my lover?” I think, almost flirtatiously. Whew! Wow. I haven’t flirted with, haven’t seriously considered anyone besides my husband since…I don’t remember. I’m not even feeling sexual. I’m thinking about someone who adores me ardently and will never know that I wear socks to bed. My skin feels better just thinking about it. Like I just smoothed the most expensive serum in the world all over my face. I get home and check in the mirror. Yep, I’m definitely dewier.

While taking a lover is certainly fraught with obstacles, merely thinking about it has many of the benefits and none of the drawbacks. Any man could be mine – in my dreams. I think I may have discovered the key to better skin – and maybe even a long, happy, faithful marriage.

Post from: BlissTree

photo courtesy of: WENN

Health-conscious First Lady Michelle Obama will award $40,000 worth in prizes to the top “Apps for Health” entrants as part of her “Let’s Move” campaign for healthy kids. Yesterday’s press release details the contest, which aims to encourage software engineers to develop games and applications that motivate kids to eat better and exercise more often. Entries are due by the end of June; cash prizes range from $4,500 to $10,000. Find all the details at appsforhealthykids.com.

Post from: BlissTree

Kelly Cutrone

“I don’t look good on television. And I make no effort to look good, either.”

Hmmm. How many times have you justified feeling dumpy with the same logic that Kelly Cutrone used on this week’s latest episode of Bravo’s “Kell on Earth”? Cutrone’s tough-girl act is all bravado, but we’re not sure if we buy it. Is this rationalization just a cover-up for low self esteem?  Tell us what you think. (And if you have to cry, go outside.)

Post from: BlissTree

One of Blisstree’s favorite live and radio DJs, Mr. Fine Wine, who’s also a Detroit soul music authority, has hosted “Downtown Soulville,” his stellar weekly radio show, for almost 16 years (91.1 FM in the New York City/New Jersey area).

Luckily, for those of us who don’t live within reach of those airwaves, Mr. Fine Wine’s hour-long broadcasts stream live and are archived online at the Jersey City-based independent radio station WFMU. We dare you to listen and stand still.

In honor of Blisstree’s launch, we asked Mr. Fine Wine to share with us a rare soul tune that to him defines what Blisstree is all about. His pick? “The Queen” by Big Ella. We couldn’t agree more. So listen up…it’s good for the soul.

Post from: BlissTree

At Blisstree, we’re into all aspects of mental health. So we wonder how many of you have a little, a lot, or no experience at all with prescription antidepressants. Which ones? For depression, anxiety, OCD, or something else? For how long? Did they help you? Take our poll and talk to us below.

Post from: BlissTree

Meet John Dempster, a licensed (and very handsome) Naturopath who practices in Toronto. The good doctor will regularly contribute to Blisstree about health and wellness issues. Find his practice here.

What the hell is Naturopathy?

Naturopathic Medicine (Naturopathy) focuses on treating individuals – not treating their labels.  Naturopathic Doctors (ND’s) treat the whole person. We look at how each patient’s physical body, nutrition, stress, genetics, toxicity, and other factors affect how they look and feel. ND’s are heavily trained in clinical nutrition, acupuncture, homeopathy, botanical medicine, and some physical therapies. Our #1 goal is to identify, address, and treat the root cause of disease. We don’t aim to suppress symptoms, but rather to uncover why those symptoms are present in the first place. Once you do this, you save the patient a lot of money, time, and pain!

Are you a real doctor?

I get this question all the time and I love it. ABSOLUTELY. However, to clarify, we are Naturopathic Doctors – not Medical Doctors. Much like MD’s, ND’s are trained as primary care practitioners capable of diagnosing and treating illness. In order to do so, we too have completed eight years of medical training entrenched in genetics, anatomy, physiology, biochemistry, and pharmacology – in addition to studying all of our natural therapies. We have a thorough understanding of how to identify any possible interactions between prescription drugs and nutritional supplements. This is absolutely critical today, as many people self-prescribe supplements thinking that just because they’re natural, they’re safe to take with prescription medications. Many of my MD friends – who’ve witnessed any ND student study for and write our licensing board exams – don’t know how we do it. To make it as a licensed ND you’ve put in your dues and then some.

We hear Naturopathy can help with conditions as wide-ranging as allergies, PMS, depression, infertility, insomnia, digestive problems, diabetes, and hair loss. What can’t it help?

Naturopathic Medicine treats lots of chronic conditions. Ideally, it should be used in preventing or reducing  risk of chronic disease in the first place. But Naturopathy isn’t limited to chronic illness alone; it can often quickly and successfully treat minor acute medical issues. That said, if you’re in a car accident, or have a heart attack, you don’t come to my office; you go to the ER…stat!

What’s the most serious illness you’ve successfully treated with Naturopathic medicine?

I’ve seen patients turn around and do some amazing things when someone takes the time to thoroughly investigate the underlying causes of their illness. I’ve been fortunate to see many patients recover from life-threatening and debilitating illnesses and do extremely well. A large part of my practice is focused on cancer, I have patients who came to see me with a very dismal prognosis, and are now in full remission. It’s extremely rewarding.

How’d you do it?

Intravenous (IV) therapy is a powerful way of getting someone to feel better quickly. IV therapy is a big part of my practice and has helped many patients suffering from various infections and illnesses – not just cancer. We give each patient a customized solution of various vitamins, minerals, amino acids, and other nutrients tailored to their specific needs. These “vitamin “drips” aren’t just for sick patients; professional athletes, executives, ‘anti-agers’, and weekend warriors love them! They’re a powerful and safe way to launch someone into a healing mode and get them feeling better quicker.

So, aside from these “drips”, can Naturopathy help us if we’re not technically “sick”?

Thanks for asking! Those types of people actually get and understand health, and what I try to encourage every day. Unfortunately, most people still think that you shouldn’t visit your doctor until you get sick. But this is changing, and it’s encouraging to see people take responsibility for their health. When a patient values prevention as part of their treatment, that’s very cool.

How many MDs or patients have you encountered who think Naturopathy is a scam?

I love it! This is an easy way to help you separate the ignorant from the educated. Those who dismiss Naturopathic Medicine and licensed ND’s by describing them as a “scam” clearly have not done their homework. The fact is that Naturopathic medicine has been making people healthy longer than Allopathic or “real” medicine. Naturopathy has been relatively unknown to the general public and doctors alike, but this is changing rapidly. More and more medical schools are educating students about the quality and level of training an ND receives, and how both sides of medicine can work together in an integrative approach. This is the future of medicine, and how we can best offer health care to patients all across North America.

How do you convince naysayers?

I don’t aim to convince anyone to use Naturopathic Medicine. What I find more constructive is to educate people about Naturopathy (without putting them to sleep describing the merits of dandelion leaves); how it can be useful; and who can benefit from it. I can’t count how many people I’ve treated who were skeptics at first, and have since referred their friends, co-workers, and family members to me!

Do your patients have to truly “believe” in Naturopathy in order for it to work?

Absolutely not. All anybody needs to be is open-minded and want to feel great and remain in good health. Even the biggest non-believers can come around. Once someone begins to feel better, the rest is history.

Dr. Dempster is a regular contributor to Blisstree. Find his practice here.

Post from: BlissTree

- M.F.K. Fisher, The Gastronomical Me

Post from: BlissTree

In the first of a three-part series, Blisstree demystifies the dairy and (not-quite-dairy) aisles.

Once a place of creamy serenity, the dairy aisle is now fraught. One can recall a more innocent time when the only question was 2% or skim, but those days are long gone. “Got Milk?” used to require no more than a one-word answer, but now it only leads to a seemingly endless array of questions. Dairy or soy? Cow or goat? What about grass-fed? What’s up with kefir? What does a a girl have to do to get raw milk in this town? The questions go on and on, much like supermarket aisles.

So, Blisstree hit Whole Foods Market to make sense of it all. (And it wasn’t even a sample day!) We stocked up on a variety of the white stuff and took it home for a series of scientific taste tests (cookies, coffee, and some gagging were involved). Then we chatted up a health counselor to get the skinny.

This week, we look at the cow varieties, but we’ll get crazier in the next few weeks, checking out everything from goat to hemp milk. Prices refer to Whole Foods in New York City.

Plain-Old Milk

What it really is: Milk. From a cow. Not labeled “organic”, “local”, “grass-fed”, or any other buzzword.

What it tastes like: You’ve been here before. Childhood. Rainbows. Puppies. Pre-school snack time with a graham cracker and a carpet square. We sampled the Whole Foods 365 brand, and it had a classic, pleasing taste. Less sweet than its organic counterpart but no less yummy.

Price: $.99 for 32 ounces

Reasons to drink up: Inexpensive, easy to find, classic taste

Reasons to spit it up: It’s not organic and you don’t know how the cows were raised. And, this is America, land of factory farms and corn subsidies. “If you’re going to go organic with anything, you should definitely have your dairy be organic” says Kavita Jhaveri-Patel, a certified holistic health counselor. “Antibiotics and hormones are fed to the cows so they can produce more milk. This has a lot of side effects, including high estrogen levels in both men and women.” If you don’t go organic, but want to avoid an estrogen overdose, Jhaveri-Patel recommends skim milk, noting that the added hormones are typically stored in the milk’s fat. (With organic and raw milk, she recommends the full-fat versions to get the most of the milks’ original nutrients.)

Raw Milk

What it really is: Milk taken straight from the cow, rapidly cooled and bottled, not pasteurized or homogenized.

What it really tastes like: If only we could tell you. It’s illegal to sell raw milk in about half of the 50 states.

Price: Not available

Reasons to drink up: “It’s basically straight from the natural source, the way nature intended,” says Jhaveri-Patel. Because raw milk isn’t pasteurized (i.e. heated to high temperatures to destroy bacteria and enzymes), all the good stuff remains.

Reasons to spit it up: Because raw milk isn’t pasteurized, any bad stuff (say, E. coli) remains. Raw milk proponents argue that if the milk is collected hygienically from a grass-fed cow, the risk is minimal, but because of that risk, raw milk sales are illegal in many states. Jhaveri-Patel says the safety concerns are “something to think about,  and if you’re really concerned about it, don’t do it.” If you’re desperate to try it, and it’s illegal in your state, “there are places to find out about getting it,” she says, including some websites.

Organic (And Often Local)

What it really is: Certified organic milk. When we asked for raw at Whole Foods, they told us milk from Milk Thistle Farms, an organic dairy in Ghent, New York was the next best thing, as their milk is only “lightly pasteurized”, and the full-fat version is non-homogenized.

What it really tastes like: Sheer and udder deliciousness. Our favorite milk of the bunch, it was slightly sweet and totally natural tasting. It was delightful  in coffee, where that sweetness obliterated any need for added sugar or sweetener. Even the skim version had a full taste and a vague creaminess.

Price: $6.99 for 64 ounces, plus $1 bottle deposit

Reasons to drink up: It tastes great, and it’s good for you and the cows. While it depends on the specific farm, cows on local, organic dairies tend to be treated more humanely. Milk Thistle Farms says its cows are allowed to spend their days out on the field and that each cow is known by name. By law, for milk to be labeled organic, the cows can’t be fed hormones or antibiotics, so you’re  not drinking in strange additives. And, because the milk is only lightly pasteurized (as in the case of Milk Thistle), more of its original vitamins and minerals remain. Also, Milk Thistle, like many organic dairies, packages its milk in eco-friendly glass bottles that can be reused by the farm. Some also believe milk in glass bottles tastes better.

Reasons to spit it up: It’s expensive, and organic milk doesn’t mean that the cows are only munching on grass, though, according to a recent article in The Atlantic, the USDA recently passed new requirements for organic dairy farmers that will take effect in early 2011. For their milk to qualify as organic, cows must be allowed to graze on open pasture for at least 120 days of the year and get 30 percent of their nutrition from fresh grass.

Grass-Fed Milk

What it really is: Milk from cows that only feed on grass, not grain or corn. Super-strict USDA regulations require a grass-only diet – no grain or grain byproducts, and cows must have free reign over pastures. (These laws are much stricter than for the organic label; see above.)

What it really tastes like: Perhaps because we associate the word “grass” plus anything in a bottle with that delicious Polish vodka with the grass leaf in it, we had high hopes…hopes that were quickly crushed. Grass fed milk has a distinct taste; the brand we sampled (and the only brand we could find at Whole Foods), Sky Top Farms, had an unpleasant metallic taste. “It tastes like shrimp,” exclaimed one of our testers – not exactly what you want in your granola. That said, the taste of grass-fed milk varies greatly across brands and areas where cows are grazing; because cows are living off the land (and not corn subsidies), grass-fed milk almost has <em>terroir</em> like wine.

Price: $2.99 for 32 ounces

Reasons to drink up: “I highly highly recommend grass-fed,” says Jhaveri-Patel. “The cows eat what they’re meant to, and that’s probably the best source of vitamins and minerals.”

Reasons to spit it up: Expensive and not a classic milk taste but rather a fishy one. While Jhaveri-Patel recommends trying different labels, Whole Foods offered only one kind, Sky Top Farms, that came in a plastic jug, not a reusable glass jar like our organic pick.

Classic combo, regardless of labels

Lactose-Free Milk

What it really is: Actual cow’s milk with an enzyme added that converts lactose to glucose, making it easier to digest, especially for the lactose-intolerant.

What it really tastes like: Better than we imagined, given that the brand we tried – Lactaid – had busy, unappealing packaging. It also had a pleasant sweetness to it, for which lactose-free milk is often noted. Still, like fake breasts, its artificial nature was a bit disturbing and the texture was slightly off.

Price: $2.69 for 32 ounces

Reasons to drink up: “It’s a good alternative,” says Jhaveri-Patel, “but it’s still processed.” For the lactose-intolerant who still want a traditional cow’s milk, this may be the way to go. But if you’re actually allergic to milk, this won’t work for you.

Reasons to spit it up: Its artificial taste, texture, and nature

Kefir

What it really is: A drink made from fermented cow’s milk; think of kefir as yogurt’s cooler cousin. It’s fermented with more and different types of bacteria than yogurt, so it has more beneficial probiotics.

What it really tastes like: The plain Lifeway Kefir we tried oozed ominously out of a plastic bottle, but once we brought it to our lips, all was well. It tasted pleasantly sour and a bit tangy, like plain yogurt, and went down smoothly with a thickness akin to, you guessed it, drinkable yogurt. Just don’t dip a cookie in it, and whatever you do, don’t add it to your coffee. Like yogurt, kefir is available in an array of fruit flavors like strawberry or pomegranate açaí.

Price: $3.79 for 32 ounces

Reasons to drink up: “Kefir is a great source of probiotics, and good for people suffering from Irritable Bowel Syndrome or any digestive issues,” says Jhaveri-Patel. It’s certainly a more natural source of probiotics than that Activia stuff Jamie Lee Curtis hawks. According to this Los Angeles Times article, there are claims that drinking kefir can do everything from lower your cholesterol to fight cancer cells, but those alleged effects are still being studied.

Reasons to spit it up: If drinkable yogurt isn’t your thing, kefir probably won’t be either. It’s pricey compared to other milks, but remember, it’s more comparable to yogurt. Perhaps most annoyingly, like quinoa (KEEN-wah), it’s healthy food with a confusing pronunciation; Merriam-Webster lists no less than three ways to say it. Study them carefully to avoid embarrassment at the next food co-op meeting.

Photos: Hailey Eber

Post from: BlissTree

Giulia Melucci, author, "I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti"

Whenever I start dating someone new, I just can’t hold back. No matter how often my girlfriends warn me, “Take it slow, let him win you over, don’t give it away so quickly,” I just can’t resist – I have to cook for him.
My longtime dating career has been marked by good food and disappointing boyfriends. To seduce, charm, and hold onto a bevy of ill-fitting suitors, I’ve made every kind of food from simple pastas, to labor intensive cassoulets, and all kinds of desserts. I’ve dated every sort of man: artist, lawyer, banker, and writer, kind and unkind, ready to commit, and as amenable to commitment as I am to eating at Olive Garden.

I come from a long line of great cooks on two continents. I don’t want to blame my forebears for my romantic troubles, but I will say this: My mother was better at advising me on how to get the pasta dough to unstick, than she was with helping me through any sticky love affair. Her answer would always be to give more. Drive him to the airport the day after you break up. That kind of thing.

And so I cooked and cooked, even when it just wasn’t worth it anymore, never knowing when to throw down my apron, and with no clear idea of what I wanted for dinner. I was better at nourishing other people than I was myself. I’m not saying I’m some kind of saint. I’m not. That kind of co-dependent behavior is not selfless, it’s just stupid.

Understanding healthy giving, giving that feels good, is an important component to a good relationship. And what exactly is a good relationship? That’s something we’ll be discussing here in future columns. I’ve been trying to figure out the answer for a long time. Right now I’m in a relationship that’s making me happy, with a guy who doesn’t care if I cook or not. But I do cook, because I can’t help it. But it feels different this time. Now, I worry less about whether or not it’s perfect. I was hung up on perfection for a long time, trying to find it in the food I made, because it was nowhere to be found in any of my relationships. These days I’m less concerned about finding something perfect – and instead just trying to enjoy something that feels right.

Post from: BlissTree

Here’s contributor Carole Braden’s first of four posts in the debut of Blisstree’s Self-Help Test-Drive.

It was Marshie, an acquaintance from the Internet, who hooked me up with my spacey brain candy from the Centerpointe Research Institute. We happened to be living nearly identical fertility nightmares, and had been introduced through email by friends. I liked her wacky name and caring notes, and revealed to her the harrowing turns of my years-long kid quest.

In response to my online opining about how crazy-making a course of IVF – in which I was then embroiled – could be, Marshie asked me a key question: “How relaxed are you?”

How relaxed? Not one iota. Despite my devotion to yoga and weekly treatments from an acupuncturist, I had to admit it: I couldn’t recall experiencing anything more than lamely feigned relaxation in eons. The knots posing as a second set of shoulder blades on my back – and the ever-deepening furrows in my brow – confirmed it. I was frighteningly tense, both in mind and body. And I knew it was true: My guitar-string disposition wasn’t doing anything for my baby desires.

Marshie told me that, in addition to the things I was doing, she’d taken up meditation. But it wasn’t the sort of deep, legs-crossed meditation that yogis teach – and take years of work to master. It was a shortcut tool for releasing stressed thoughts and taut muscles, and it involved listening to some sounds from a CD every day. “I don’t at all enjoy the sitting and clearing your mind part of meditation,” she explained. “With this it doesn’t matter. You can listen to it while you plan your menu for the week!”

But what was “it”? I definitely didn’t believe that a couple of discs I could upload to my iPod would end my plight. Besides, I didn’t want to wake in the morning to find I suddenly subscribed to the scriptures of an insidious underworld cult. Marshie said it wasn’t like that. The sounds were a mellowing combination of tolling bells and falling rain, and had behind them a brainwave technology known as Holosync. “It has to do with balancing left and right brain,” she said. “It has calmed me tremendously.”

I still didn’t buy it. The CDs had to be purchased over the Web, and cost close to $200. Still, I was intrigued. I went to the Centerpointe website, requested a free demo CD that the company was offering, and started reading about the program. I admit, I anxiously awaited that complimentary disc. I liked the idea of making my way to a happier, healthier state. And, of course, letting my headphones do the work.

I had been depressed and dragging myself out of bed every morning for months, but I was about to develop a new addiction – one that would have me waking up early with pleasure and starting each day in a puzzlingly positive state of mind.

Carole Braden is a freelance writer based in New York City. She’s currently seeking her bliss on a three-month trip zig-zagging South Africa.

Post from: BlissTree