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Couples, couples, everywhere! Fiances, domestic partners, husbands and wives, internet dating couples, newly dating couples…sometimes it just seems like everyone is coupled up and there are no more single people left! If you find yourself in a group of friends where you seem to be the only one without an “other half” there are a lot of important ideas to remember so that you don’t let the situation affect you more than it should.
I’ve been on both the inside and the outside of this situation and I know that you can feel depressed, alienated, uncomfortable, and whiny (your coupled-up friends hate it when you use it for an excuse for not hanging out!) if it goes on for awhile. Here are some tips for handling the situation in a healthy manner:
- Don’t feel pressured. Just because everyone has a pair doesn’t mean that you have to in order to be “normal.” Significant others come and go and they’ve all been single and they all might be single again someday…you never know! Remember that it’s really all about timing, so just stay in tune with yourself and you will be happy.
- It can be fun to be the third wheel. Some couples are better than others at hanging out with singles. Don’t write off all of your coupley friends as pairs that you can’t hangout with when they are together. Some couples will definitely make you feel like the third wheel, but others can be really fun to hangout with! I have lots of couples that I will hangout with even if it’s just the three of us because I know the relationship situation doesn’t really matter. Give the third wheel a chance!
- Plan a night for friends to hangout without their partners. It’s fun to have a girl’s night or a special brunch or shopping trip or a million other things that would just be more fun without boys anyways (think Sex & the City!). Many couples seem super duper attached and possibly reluctant to part for even an evening, but I promise that once they are out they will enjoy their independence. Don’t feel uncomfortable about asking them not to bring their husbands/boyfriends this time! Everyone loves a girls’ night!
- Invite your best friend as your date. If you are attending an event that really does work better if everyone has a pair, invite your best girl friend as your date. I suggest inviting a good friend before someone you are newly dating because being surrounded by superserious couples could be slightly awkward. It’s always fun to get special one-on-one time with your best friend!
Stay confident and comfortable with yourself even if you seem to be the only single person left amongst your friends. Don’t resent boyfriends and husbands for stealing your friends away. It can be fun for your friend circle to expand as you become close friends with your best friend’s new husband!
There are lots of wonderful aspects of being single that you should take advantage of before you find yourself one of those who are paired up….enjoy your independent life!
Image: sxc.hu
being single is very hard to do,i am 30,been single for almost 2 yrs,an it does play with your emotions,i have nothing but coupled friends an it really gets me when i go around them cause they have what i feel i will never have an it does take it toll on your heart.
Honestly, this advice isn’t very helpful. It’s not just the pressure aspect, or the ‘feeling left out’ aspect, it’s the hurt. It hurts to be the only single one. I know, I always seem to be that person. You can try not to feel pressured, but your efforts are in vain. It is never fun to be the third wheel. Inviting your friends out without their partners also usually doesn’t work because they all want to talk about their significant others, and that once again leaves you left out. When you invite a friend to be your date you just end up feeling sorry for yourself. The only real advice for situations like this, if you are not single by choice, is make a larger effort to meet someone.
Yes it’s important to remember that you can be happy because you only have to focus on yourself. Everyone in a relationship has to worry about balancing someone else’s happiness with their own….not as fun as it seems! Yes keep holding out for someone amazing!
mmmm i hate it sometimes… when you look around the table and realize your the only single girl there. c’est la vie. just find comfort in the fact that not all of them are happily coupled. i’m holding out for someone really special. :)