Sexbolt Saturday: So What Goes on 'Behind the Bedroom Door'? Book Review and Giveaway.

‘no one knows what goes on behind closed doors’.

- Behind Closed Doors, Charlie Rich, 1973

Okay, so it’s not something that we freely admit but let’s face it, we all have a little bit of curiosity as to what goes on in other people’s bedrooms. After all, we live in a world that seems to be obsessed with sex. But when it comes to talking about the intimate details of one’s sex life, it’s something that seldom happens, especially among women.

Writer and editor Paula Derrow thinks this is because of fear…

‘fear of being exposed as inadequate, or worse, of being boring. Living in an all-sex-all-the-time culture may be liberating in many ways, but it can also breed shame – shame for not keeping up, for not being invited to the party.’

So Paula set out to open up the door by getting a number of well known women writers ranging in their twenties to their seventies write about, well, their sexual experiences. The result – Behind the Bedroom Door - a collection of extremely frank, truly honest, and often hilarious essays that literally offer exposure to the other side of the bedroom door.

The result – a real page turner of a book that will hold your attention in it’s truly illuminating and deeply honest discussion about sex that’s seldom found. You’ll nod, laugh, despair, and empathize as you read essay topics range from illicit affairs, one night stands, sex toys, and sex addiction to dealing with sex in pregnancy, monogamy, lesbian affairs, and living in a sexless marriage. Nothing is left unsaid in this book that shatters many of the deeply entrenched myths about women’s intimate lives. Covering a wealth and variety of female sexual experience,  Behind the Bedroom Door will leave you questioning conventional notions about women, sex, and sentiment. 

Having read the book, I got to say I was really curious as to how Paula managed to put this book together. So I asked her.

Healthbolt: How did you choose these particular writers and was it easy to persuade them to write about their experiences? 

Paula: I turned to the best writers I know, both from working at Self over the years, and from all the reading I do. Some writers led me to other writers. I also called some favorite writers cold (or their agents), and tried to pique their interest with this juicy topic.

Healthbolt: How in the world did you manage to get these writers to lay open such personal aspects of their lives for public display?

Paula: As an editor at Self and a teacher focusing on personal essay writing, I’m used to pushing writers to go deeper, to search themselves for the real meaning of what they are trying to say.

Healthbolt: Any problems along the way?

Paula: Of course. Given the personal nature of this topic, there were some challenges: Some writers dropped out; Some husbands objected and persuaded their spouses to drop out.

Healthbolt: I guess that’s understandable. After all the writers are not using aliases and are really exposing themselves and often their spouses or partners in these essays. And yet, they were willing to be extremely frank and honest in their essays.

Paula: Mostly because I tried to emphasize that these stories weren’t about betraying a partner or airing dirty laundry or simply about voyeurism – each one is about the women herself – what she feels, experiences, desires and worries about in bed. Making sure that we were keeping the focus on that helped make it easier for each writer to feel comfortable and deliver.

Healthbolt: Well, you certainly succeeded. Anyone reading Behind the Bedroom Door will get a much better understanding on the variety and extreme differences that each of us experience behind the bedroom door. It’s definitely got Healthbolt’s seal of approval.

….

Healthbolt’s got one copy of Behind the Bedroom Door to give away. All you need to do is leave a comment here by 31st January to be in to win.  And when you leave the comment, if you know, tell us who else sung the Charlie Rich song ‘Behind Close Doors’.