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The numbers are in and the facts don’t lie: there are exploding bladders everywhere. Scads. I don’t want to bring up the frog scene in Magnolia, because I know a lot of you are just getting started on your lunch, but this is what we’re dealing with here.
Women’s bodies are more sensitive than men’s when it comes to alcohol consumption and urinary tract health. So the fact that women are binge-drinking in growing numbers as they try to “keep up with the boys” is creating a spate of unintended and unpleasant consequences. And I’m not even talking about the walk of shame next morning.
It is possible to make your bladder explode from a night of drunken revelry. Typically, only men have dragged themselves into the E.R. with torn up piddlins, because men are usually the alcoholics. Unfortunately, the problem is now showing up frequently in women, particularly in women who are not alcoholics at all but simply gals-about-pub. Though it’s not exactly an epidemic, still, it’s a useful to know that getting hamboned can give you something a lot worse than a hangover. Remember that scene in Little House in the Big Woods when Laura and Mary fought for the right to play with the pig bladder that Pa had puffed up like a balloon? I’m just going to leave you with that.
HT: Carolyn (thanks, baby!)
Photo: AMagill
1016 days ago
Sam, you make a worthy point. And re: hamboned…exactly. ;)
Ross, it’s simply an issue of too much stress to the bladder. I haven’t heard about this world water contest – do you have a link?
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1017 days ago
Is it because the bladder can’t process so much fast enough? Like the people who died drinking too much water in the world water drinking contest?
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1017 days ago
I’m calling FUD. It’s always been my experience that binge drinking is GOOD for one’s bladder. God knows I wouldn’t use most public restrooms while sober.
And, yeah, “hamboned” sounds like it means something remarkably different than “drunk”. ;)
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1017 days ago
‘Hamboned’. That’s one I haven’t heard.
I should mention the very common British euphimism “bladdered”, though. Although perhaps now it takes on a more sinister quality.
…..
So it’s the sheer volume of liquid that makes things go bang? You mentioned that women’s bodies are more sensitive when it comes to alcohol consumption – do you mean the alcohol is more of an irritant?
(Nothing like that lovely sensation of evacuating broken glass, is there?)
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