Tips For Keeping a Marriage Alive

I just read an article from the Wall Street Journal called “Happy Couples Kiss & Tell” by Elizabeth Bernstein.  Bernstein interviews famous couples like Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and Jimmy and Rosalynn Carter to find secrets to these long marriages that have lasted through trying times like addictive drug use and a failed re-election campaign.  After many years, each couple agrees that their marriage is “happy, strong, and mutually supportive.”  Wow…those are the three things that I think we would all like to find in a lifetime partnership!

So what tips do these successful married couples have to offer to the rest of us?  Bernstein summarizes the input from all of the interviewees into five pieces of advice (well, actually four…you’ll see what I mean when you get to five).

• Find the middle ground. I couldn’t agree more!  This is my absolute when it comes to figuring out relationship problems:  give and take.  There is absolutely nothing more important in my personal life and my relationship life than balance.

• Be funny. Again, I couldn’t agree more!  If you get in an argument and you are eventually able to laugh it off instead of getting into a serious hurtful conflict, then you have a strong quality that could carry you through the years.  Laughter is the best medicine!

• Keep (some) secrets. Some of the couples say that happiness in their relationship exists because they don’t need to share absolutely everything with their partner.  There are some things that would only make them upset and it’s better not to share.  I don’t necessarily agree with this one…I’m all about honesty at all costs…but I do think that it can be interpreted as “keep some independence.”

• Never, ever give up. If you love someone then you believe in them enough to stick through anything.  You married them because you believe that they are good and whatever hardship they are dealing with, you have to believe that the goodness will shine through.  (Although this does not apply in abusive relationships)

• Stay alive. One couple said that their secret to longevity was that neither of them had died.  That is really ’til death do us part!

Image: flickr mcohen.chromiste