Edie Dykeman, at ElderCareCafe, responded to my post, Keeping Your Cool as an Alzheimer’s Caregiver , with, Great post and reminder to do what we can to stay calm and emotionally in control. Thanks! She also described a situation in her caregiving life that you might relate to.
As I mentoned to Edie, it is difficult living day to day with someone who has Alzheimer’s and can be very stubborn. They’re also often frightened by what’s happening to them, so strike out verbally and physically at those closest. That often is the caregiver.
When I was caring for Mother, I read somewhere that you could end up becoming very angry at that person and had to be careful you didn’t harm them physically. “No never,” I thought. “She’s my mother.”
However, as the tiredness and frustrations grew, I began to understand what the author meant. I had to learn to laugh, to joke with Mother, and make an attempt to stay calm. I also realized I must get away from the caregiving at times and have space for myself. I had to learn not to take what Mother said and did personally because she often didn’t know it was ME she was venting her frustrations on.
How have you learned to cope when caregiving seems too much?
When Granny was ill, I was so frustrated I posted on an online forum about it..
People gave me links & help & advice & their own experiences, & it really helped to put things in perspective!
I read posts on a forum dedicated to caregivers, & saw my Granny wasn’t the worst! Other people had similar or even bigger problems! So this really helped..
I never thought I could get furious with my Granny either, it’s just the illness & the stress made it really hard!
She didn’t have Alzheimer’s (I hope) though her memory isn’t best anymore, & her other illnesses improved to the point she’s now well & almost back to her old self!
When she & other grandparents were worst, the family split the tasks, so everyone was doing a tiny bit & no one was truly overwhelmed! This is really important, for maintaining sanity! (physical & emotional wellbeing!)
Wishing you to find peace & happiness (& people to ease the load) too!