I talk to my mother every day. Sometimes twice! She and the King of Everything are thick as theives, and he has blossomed in the company of his grammie and grandpa.
I would not be able to do the kind of work I do, and have the breathing space to explore just what kind of smart, joyful, happy woman I can become, if it weren’t for my parents.
My mother has so kindly volunteered to get the boy after school every day and take care of him til I get home, which alleviates one of my biggest sources of guilt: aftercare. I had him in school from 7AM to 6PM every day of the week that some friend or another couldn’t take pity on him and bring him to their house for a play date. It was just too much, and the kid was starting to fray at the edges.
I came home tonight, staring down the second half of my slow march through chaos, to a happy boy reading books and a laundry room full of folded clothes. Can I just tell you how much I <3 my mama right now? I might even iron. I didn’t even have to rush home through the thunderstorm, cause my mother had the kid. She called me to tell me not to rush.
Another thing my mother does that is just incredible: she listens. She listens to her grandson. She listens to her daughter. She’s on our team. Mom wants to know just how do we discipline a child when we don’t spank or punish? She comes up with some pretty creative suggestions on how to work around behavior issues we face and gets the best out of my kid every single time. She’s just amazing. She is absolutely not critical of me in any sense, even when I’m uptight and cranky and coming down harder on the kid than is necessary. The biggest rebuke I’ve ever gotten from her is, “He’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”
Being such a great grandparent has made her a wonderful parent to me, too. She is generous in her praise of me, whenever my spirits are flagging. She gives me perspective on how far I’ve come and gently reminds me of how hard I can be on myself, and keeps my feet on the ground. I think she really does love me unconditionally, now.
I can’t tell you how lucky I am. If you are the parent of a single mother or single father who is busting their hump to make everything work for their single family, please support them. Please believe in them. Please love them.
Tags: single mother, single mama, single mom, grandparents, support, unconditional love, help
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