When I added up rent and utilities, loan payment, groceries, and summer camp for the King of Everything, then subtracted it from my take home pay, you know how much I have left?
$100.
And now that the Ex is going on close to six months without a single payment for his child? I’m seriously doubting we’ll see a dime from him. Ever. Has his family pitched in to take up the slack for their deadbeat son? No.
Keep in mind, this short list is all I have in my budget. I’ve canceled Netflix and the gym membership. My cell phone is on my family’s plan. I don’t own a car. I walk the child to school and then walk to work. Food, rent, childcare and rehabilitating my debt. Those are the four expenses that bring me perilously close to overdrawn, every month. There is no budget for movies, or vacation, or clothes. This is what we must deal with, every day.
This is, thank God, a wonderful city full of free things to do, and my parents gave me a bicycle for my birthday, so I can get out and about without worry or gas taxes. And the rents are the best free babysitters a girl could ever ask for. But my dreams of taking tango lessons this summer are going to have to be set aside. I’ll settle for picnics in the park with the King and I.
Sorry to hear he still hasn’t paid any child support. Dead beat dads need some serious punishment.
I’m glad your parents got you a bike. Maybe in the fall your finances will get a little better since he’ll be in school and you won’t have to pay for childcare. Just keep pushing along until then.
I sympathize completely…1.22 until friday. Plus a state tax levy on my checks for the next three weeks…from 2003…ugh. Why do I get up? Oh yeah, because my son wants to wear his new shoes today! (my mom is great)
Hi guys, I wanted to say I know exactly what you are talking about. Thankfully we do have a little money left over every month! I usually have about 60 – 100 bucks to spend on groceries and everything else that comes up. I try to make it a game and see how many days in a row I can go without spending money! There are food pantries and free diapers at assistance ministries and things that can really help when big unexpected bills come… like speeding tickets (oops!). When I get paid ever other week I try to go down to the good will or look on craigslist.com to find some sort of toy for 10 dollars or less – it keeps the toy box full and my bills low. Whatever is left over I put into an envelope saving for her bike I would love to get her! It is really fun to watch it grow! Other than that, just know that you are doing it on your own and take pride that there is a little left (even if it is 5 dollars) at the end of the month to roll into savings. It is an empowering and beautiful thing to be a strong single momma. Don’t hold out for that money from the dad – I sure haven’t gotten anything, and at this point don’t care if I do – but if it does come, I plan to put it in savings for my baby later.
Oh Leslie. What a mess, huh?
Hope you like both your jobs! I’ve got two, as well… a desk job and this blog. Wish I could make this one pay well!
I’m sorry Christina, it’s miserable to work so hard with nothing left to show for it. When I started working my second job I was getting support regularly and thought I really be able to save and provide, now it’s the one thing keeping my head above water some months. So discouraging.
That’s great you’ve got a bike now to zip around on! It probably won’t be as exciting as tango but at least it’ll be a fun workout
I hear you, Kelly, and am amazed at how even-keeled and positive you have stayed about this change.
Amy, he lives overseas. There’s not much I can do until he enters the country again. Unfortunately, the only real possibility is that he would be arrested.
[...] Solo Mother hasn’t seen a penny in six months from her ex. [...]
Believe me, I know how you feel. Except I’d love to have $100 left. I recently started working a second job so I could try and get my head above water. I’m working 7 days a week and still struggling, but I think once I get caught up a little things will be better. It’s so rough though, especially when you have a kid who is always there asking you for things that cost money! Free entertainment is definitely the best. Here’s to hoping we both find financial security (and child support!) soon.
I hate the middle of the night math. Is there any way you can get after your Ex for the money?