I’ve co-slept with my son since he was 3 months old, and it has worked great for us. He wakes up to nurse, then falls right back asleep. Neither of us wake up fully, so I’ve been able to have great sleep from from about 12 mos until now (24 mos.)

But over the last 2 weeks his sleep has been terrible. He won’t go to bed until 10:30 (used to sleep easily at 8:30) and wakes up 3 times a night nursing voraciously (like, 30-40 minutes!). I’m pregnant (2 mos) and get so irritated with this! I take him off the breast but then he cries and cries. My husband then comes and tries to comfort him but he won’t go to him at all during the night, and gets really agitated.

I’m so worn out and am thinking of night weaning, but hate the thought of having him cry for long periods of time. Partly cuz I don’t want to cause him upset, but also cuz it is horrible to listen to during the night.

Any suggestions?

whereas her sister would scream bloody murder NOOO!!! and act like you just told her you didn`t love her anymore.

CIO didn`t seem to phase child #1. she didnt get too crazy. she just seemed to say, oh well. sigh, and go to sleep. The next day you knew nothign happened and her sleep pattern DID change. She stopped waking.
Child #2 did NOT respond this way. SHe was beyond hysterical, was clearly taking it VERY personally, and acted like a beaten puppy the next day. It was terrible!! Did NOT work for her. I have tried it months later, and still not viable for her at all.

Funny, I was going to reply to Tanya with almost the identical answer EcoChic left, so she saved me the time particularly her followup post, the part about comparing more factors- it has been studied and if you graph gestation periods, acquisition of teeth, and many other factors I can’t recall, humans would, if we were “in the wild” most likely nurse from 3-7 years. Interesting, eh?
I so related, I could have posted identical comments as Laura and Amber as well! Right down to the laptop waiting for baby to sleep, 2 hr tussles, every detail rang true!

As for sleeping, aye yi yi. #2 is not sleeping through at 29 months. She did for a while, but at some point reverted and I haven`t gtten her back on track. I hold off nursing her until 5am, and if I want to keep her asleep for the next 90 min til we all get up for school, she has to nurse. So she will sleep from 8pm – 1am usually, I will put her back without nursing, then she will wake again at 4 or 5. Other moms with whom I’ve spoken agree that the 5am feed is the most difficult to lose because it is in this grey area between sleep and wake time.
I had a wonderful experience co-sleeping with her when she was an infant and until she was maybe 18 mo. We both slept great and it was very much the wonderful answer for us.

Instead of adding my own conclusions, I mainly am here to affirm what the other mothers have said. Yay guys!!! You rock! I say so, so there. It must be true.

Second, “I mean after all we are the parents. Why should we have to suffer?” Meeting your child’s needs is not about suffering! It’s about an attitude of servant leadership. Children learn by our example. If we want to raise children who care about the needs of others, we first have to meet their needs. Children will learn independence more quickly if they feel secure, and forcing a child to cry it out or quitting breastfeeding cold turkey undermines their security. It may cause the child to be more needy and clingy during the day. I am not saying that these actions WILL create a needy child – and maybe it worked in this case – but I would say that it is generally bad advice.

My first child was an excellent sleeper. My second, not so much. Now that I’ve parented both of them, I am FAR less smug than when I had only one, and believed I had figured out the Answer. The truth is, there is no Answer.

I don’t really have any fears about his sleep future. I figure he’ll become the sleeper he’s meant to be when he’s mature enough for it. Till then, he’s welcome to have my help getting to sleep, or getting back to sleep. I like snuggling with him, anyway!

I read the funniest thing on another blog, and it was a heart-wrenching post about being worn out, so I didn’t want to call the author on her inconsistency, but she was saying how her baby wasn’t sleeping well anymore and so they were doing the cry-it-out method again. Then, defensively, she said, “And no comments on that — crying it out is what works for our children!” I thought it was so funny and illogical, since, you know, it wasn’t working. But whatever. I could see people saying cosleeping and breastfeeding aren’t “working,” either, since Mikko, at 2, still takes awhile to fall asleep and wakes up a couple times at night (though nurses right back to sleep with no bother), but I guess it all depends on your definition of “working.” It’s working for us.