It’s been a hellish week, and it’s only Tuesday. I can’t even imagine what the rest of this mercifully short, but torturously long week will be like. I’ve been in tears more than once, I’m Grumpy and Itchy and Snappy and Snarky, and a variety of other dwarves that Snow White didn’t like as much as the original seven. I don’t want to be a burden on my friends, who have heard quite enough from me lately, thank you very much…
So what’s a single mother to do?
My mother was telling me about a meditation technique she had read, of picturing things that bring you real joy. She thought that perhaps she wouldn’t focus on people, because the joy they bring can also bring pain. She thought she’d meditate on her beautiful condo, on the art she creates, on her rooftop garden. You’re supposed to spend some amount of time in quiet contemplation of whatever brings you the most joy, and in as little as two weeks, you’ll feel a major lift in your spirits.
Only, the way things stand right now, there are few things that bring me joy. My home has been ruined by rainwater flooding, the floors buckled so badly you can see the subfloor beneath. I just got my bloodwork back from my doctor, and I have to change the way I eat — blood sugar and bad cholesterol too high, so back to low/no carbs for a while, and a mandate to lose 15 pounds in two months. So food isn’t as joyful as it should be, and I’m not relishing the kinds of desserts I’d like to make for the 4th of July. My job is chaos, my hobbies abandonned…
So instead, I will meditate on where I want to be. What I need from this life of mine. How I can get there. I have a dream, ladies. I have a dream to help young people actually create the change they want to see in the world.
I think I’ll go focus on that, whenever the tears sneak up on me.
How do you keep your chin up, single mothers? What do you meditate upon when your kids drive you crazy, the bills are due, the paycheck’s late, and the toilet is backed up again? Tell us. We all need a little more beauty, calm and peace in the world.
I’ve had the rainwater damage thing–it was terrible–my condolences. I like a little bit of lavender oil on my wrists. It’s calming.
Christina
I run in my room and cry cry cry…if I need help, I pop in a good chick flick and cry. it really makes me feel better. maybe not some.
I also really love a solo car drive. When my children were smaller, I would drive til they fell asleep then drive on a while longer in the silence with the window down and some nice music on…not too loud.. very stress relieving
I could be as simple as a taste or a smell. The smell of a rose for instance brings me straight to my grandma’s house when I was a child. That and mint tea which I used to sip as I sat in her big chair in the sunroom. Simple things.
Healing thoughts coming your way…
I go in my room, shut the door, and allow myself to just be, still and quiet. After awhile, I start to think about all the things I’m thankful for. Sometimes I will look at pictures from happy times, or listen to my favorite songs. Definitely allow myself to cry or express whatever feelings I’m having. Writing helps, in my journal, or trying to put the essence of what I feel into a poem (makes my worries smaller, somehow). If none of that works, there’s always retail therapy!! : )