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Where should baby sleep? The easy answer is a crib, of course. But is that the best answer?
Many mommies and daddies allow their newborns to sleep in their bed, and that’s where the controversy begins. Safety issues, attachment problems, sleep disorders – you’ll hear a lot of noise about sharing a bed with your infant. And there are definite pros and cons to co-sleeping.
Baby Sleeps in Crib
Pros:
Decorating – It’s fun to decorate a crib and nursery. Pink sheets, yellow duckies, blue mobiles.
Sex – You can’t exactly bang each other all night with an infant lying next to you.
Cons:
Less sleep – You’ll have to get up and walk to the baby’s room several times a night for feedings.
Sensitive babies – Some infants wail when their parents are out of sight. If yours is a little sensitive, consider moving the crib close to your bed, even if you aren’t co-sleeping.
Baby Sleeps in Bed
Pros:
Comfort – Babies are less cranky and more comfortable when they can hear your heartbeat.
Convenience – Just roll over for those 2 a.m. feedings!
Cons:
No Sex – As mentioned above, co-sleeping can put a major damper on your sex life (and even spooning sessions) with your spouse.
Tough Transition – If you allow your baby to co-sleep, she may have a hard time transitioning to her own bed later.
Safety – There have been instances where a parent has rolled over and injured or caused the death of their infant.
Always have your baby sleep on her back, wherever she sleeps. (If that’s with you, use a king- or queen-size bed.) Check out these do’s and don’ts for co-sleeping from Dr. William Sears, co-host of TV’s The Doctors.
image: istockphoto
I agree, being a parent in general means being more inventive with your sex life, whether you co-sleep or not!
We had a king size bed when our son was born, and he slept with us for six months. After that he just naturally progressed to having his own crib in his own room, as he used to stir in the night and get disturbed by our presence. It worked out great for us.
In some cultures co-sleeping is the norm. Where we live in Asia mum sleeps with baby on a floor mat next to the marital bed! All our friends are very surprised to learn our son (who is now 2) sleeps alone in his own room.
You can ABSOLUTELY have sex if you co-sleep. Are you kidding me?
We often fled to the guest room, once we got the baby down for the night. In our modest home, there are 3 couches (some even pull out), 4 recliners or wing back chairs, and 4 beds (currently), 2 showers, 4 dining room chairs, and assorted counters and tables for when you’re feeling really kinky! If there’s a baby or two in a couple of those beds, we can figure something else out. You just put a couple of pillows around the baby, and you turn on the monitor, and you go for it. It kind of felt like being teenagers again.
In fact, with #2 we had a “side car” style co-sleeper, and occasionally we (quietly) made love after she had gone to sleep. No. Big. Deal.
I don’t know any parent of a newborn who wants to “bang all night” anyway.
My kids are now 3 and 4, and we still have to occasionally be creative in order to make love. That will probably be the case until they leave for college. It’s just part of being a parent.
As for safety, as long as you are sober and of a reasonable weight (not morbidly obese) you’re extremely unlikely to kill your baby by co-sleeping in a bed. On a couch or in a recliner is much more dangerous, and happens all the time, even with parents who don’t think they’re “co-sleeping” (and thus have not educated themselves on how to do it safely).