The Feminine Mistake

I’ve not yet read the new feminist manifesto, The Feminine Mistake by Leslie Bennetts, citing the difficult to refute reasons why women shouldn’t commit to a life as a stay-at-home mom (or apparently any variation therein including part-time or work-from-home mom). My Australian Feminist Mommy counter-part Blue Milk did such an in-depth review of this book,  I would hate for you to miss it.Here are some excerpts from Blue Milk’s review of The Feminine Mistake“The Feminine Mistake has little to say about how our community and economy could be organised differently to focus less on a traditional male life-course, and much to say about how women can best ensure their security in this patriarchal landscape by moulding themselves to its contours.   Security in this world is found through money. Don’t waste time wondering why caring work isn’t valued, there is no security in that, instead start doing something that is valued – paid work. This is Bennetts’ argument.She simply doesn’

t imagine a workplace that changes to meet the needs of both the genders upon which it relies for labour.”

“Family law courts, working conditions, and employment discrimination are all untouchable. They and their inequities are facts of life. It is you, lady who will need to adapt to survive,” writes Blue Milk.

 “Regardless of the book’s polarising nature I became convinced that all mothers should spend some time in self-reflection considering their contingency plans. What if they had to do it all alone, what would they do and how would they do it? Even if those plans are ridiculously optimistic it would pay to consider what they might be,” Blue Milk continued.

 From reading Blue Milk’s review I wonder as well, As mothers and women – who claim stay-home, work part-time, work freelance and contract, or work-at-home status, or even take time off during the children’s early years –  are we making an educated choice with a full understanding of its consequences?  

 Are we understanding the math? Or are we ignoring the math? 

Do we realize that while we make our choice in the best interest of the whole family – it is we, alone, who takes the massive financial risk? If we realize it why are we passively accepting it?

If we were sane about it wouldn’t we be taking aggressive action to lower our risk while championing our stay-at-home status through political action groups like Momsrising?

In a society where there is a 50% divorce rate and women we know are retiring in abject poverty due to divorce after 25-30 year marriages, long after the children have moved on with their own lives, it is a valid question to ask “Have we gone mad? Where is our sense of self-preservation? Have we overly romanticized self-sacrifice to the detriment of ourselves and our daughters?

I’m going to read this book. I’d love for some others to pick up a copy and join me in a lively debate about it’s contents.  Blue Milk ’s insightful review is a very good start.  It will give you a taste of how thorough Bennett’s logic is.