I don’t have any thoughts on this. I don’t have any good advice. I’ve got an ex halfway around the world who can’t afford child support, and me without the money to buy a web cam or a new laptop to replace my DEATH BY OJ one or even to buy a new still cam to replace the one that mysteriously disappeared after Halloween (boo hiss), it’s not easy to keep the ex up to date on the critter. And since he’s nearly six, the milestones aren’t as often or dramatic. I told the ex when the King of Everything started reading. I told the ex when I found a friend who can teach the KoE chess. I told him when the boy bent his elbow, and when he got the rotovirus.
But we don’t talk. And since he’s so far away, he’s not really active in the parenting thing. Nor does he call to talk about the Kid, ask how he’s doing, ask what he’s into.
If you’re in a situation where you have to co-parent, and get along? Dad’s House blog has some good advice, including, when all else fails, looking on the experience as a business venture for raising good kids. Tell David that Solomother sent you to Co-Parenting – How to Deal with an Ex
I absolutely agree with you. Being a mom, and the only *involved* parent is exhausting! But it is certainly rewarding, also.
I see so many single moms who do nothing but bad mouth their exes, and try to make their kids hate them as much as they do.
I am a firm believer in karma. I think that the Golden Rule is important. What if the shoe was on the other foot? What if your kiddo went to live with your ex?
I think your blog is excellent, and it reminds me a lot of my own. Keep doing the best you can, and know that it is all worth it!
I do all the right stuff, Amy. It’s just exhausting when I’m the only adult in the post-marriage relationship.
Remember that your child is half your ex. Every time that you call your ex “stupid, lazy, worthless, *badnames*” you are essentially calling your child the same.
Love your child more than you hate your ex.
Think before you hit the respond button on your email. Or, let the calls go to voicemail if you are mad. Showing maturity will only help your situation.
Handle adult matters between the adults, never involve the kids in decisions that should be made by the adults.
Don’t use the kids against your ex. Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep.
Just some of the things I have seen. My ex is 1700 miles away. He barely knows our kid, but he is still OUR kid.