I love the diversity of our community. Women like Mikki Morrissette, started her parenting career as a Single By Choice Mom, and makes her living advocating for healthy, educated choices about becoming a single mother.
There is the lovely Rose, who was a single mother of five, survived a difficult marriage, abuse, and the uncertainty of fleeing what she knew for a future without fear. She’s now married to a lovely man, and I’m still waiting for her next CD to be completed.
There is the dynamic duo of Dr. Leah, the Sanity Fairy, and her erstwhile cohort, Rachel Sarah, who bared her soul, her mistakes, her longings, and her lessons to us in Single Mom Seeking.
What sort of single mother are you? Did you come to this as a conscious choice, or were you, like the inestimable Abigail Carter, widowed? Or, like me, did you have to suffer the grief of loss compounded with the ongoing pain of having to deal with your former spouse, and endure the stress of divorce and dislike?
Who are you, single mother?
Mine was purely accidental. I was dating someone who said he wanted all the same things I did…marriage, family. When I found myself unexpectedly pregnant and told him, he responded with “Oh Shit” and I never saw him again. I did eventually track him down only to learn that he already WAS married with children. He has never met my daughter and she’s at an age where she sees that all her friends have fathers and she does not.
Here’s my story: http://formerlyaprildawn.blogspot.com/2008/08/my-story.html
[...] week, I asked you to tell me who you are, single mothers. How did you get here? Did you choose? Did you lose? Were you married, divorced, widowed, none of [...]
Was not divorced out of choice. He moved on and remarried a month after we were divorced. Turns out, I was better off. But it is a struggle. Nowhere near the plight of these women!
Hats off to the single mothers!
Divorce was inevitable, the now-ex dated other women all throughout our so-called marriage. Divorce was painful and every day life is a struggle financially (because the ex hasn’t paid child support in many months), but my son and I are much happier. Karma is a good thing as the stories I hear about the ex are so dramatic. I’m happy not to be a part of that lifestyle anymore.
*waves* to Rachel
Anna, Dr. Leah, thank you for sharing those stories. Amazing how time and personal success can get you past these disasters!
Thank you sweetheart! I feel so honored to know you, soul sister across the country…
Mine, too, was abrupt. A phone call last spring saying he was going to NY (where his parents live), and he might not come back. He ended up not going, but within a month and a half I had filed for divorce. He wanted it, too, but didn’t have the guts to be that guy that left his wife and autistic kid, wanted me to be the cold-hearted you-know-what. Before the divorce was even official, he had moved back to NY, and one month later had a new girlfriend with 3 kids.
This has not an easy road, for sure, but the best decision I ever made for my son and myself.
Thanks for the shout-out.
The “Sanity Fairy” evolved with effort and struggle. My marriage ended without warning with a phone call which began, “I think you should take the kids and go live with your mother”.
Further details about my abrupt arrival at “singlemommyhood” are on my web site: JustAskDrLeah dot com.