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Over the years, I’ve laid to rest a lot of my body image issues. But they are not gone; it seems they continue to arise in new ways now that I’m a so-called “fat loss expert.”
As I was writing my first book, I took my role as expert seriously, and it didn’t just mean I needed the brains–I needed the body too, and I wanted perfection. I know what I’m doing in this regard, so I got straight to work tightening up my diet and revamping my workout routine. No sooner had I started, than all the body issues I thought I’d dealt with came pouring out from the dingy corners of my psyche.
I spent a year in pursuit of this perfect body, and despite how much progress I made on the outside, the inside started to feel worse and worse. I was over-training, working out on a torn hamstring, stressed out, not sleeping and feeling pretty miserable. No matter how lean I got, it wasn’t enough. My body fat percentage continued to drop, but those parts I hated before? I still kinda hated them. Would any amount of weight loss be enough? Would I ever feel like I was happy in this skin?
When my book, Ultimate You, was released last year, I was probably in my best shape ever, but despite all my efforts to “look the part,” a woman in Ohio reviewed my book on Amazon and tore me apart, saying I was too fat to have written an effective weight loss book. “If you watch the video clip here, you can see the belly fat roll and fat neck and cheeks of Dr. Kalanick, so this must not be working for her,” she said.* Her words were my worst fear was realized.
While you may never have been pubicly called fat, we’ve all felt fat, frumpy or downright yucky about our thighs, our tummy or our “fat cheeks.” The worst critique of our bodies usually comes right from our own heads. Sadly, nothing she said was something I hadn’t already thought about at one time or another. I couldn’t protect myself from someone else being cruel, but what about how cruel I could be to myself? That’s my own responsibility.
When the harsh words settled came my moment of reckoning: “So the worst happened, now what are you going to do with it?” I asked myself. The answers changed my life.
“I couldn’t protect myself from someone else being cruel, but what about how cruel I could be to myself? That’s my own responsibility”
Thank you for saying this. I have struggled with my self esteem my entire life. Every time I take a bite of food, words from my past echo in my head, “she’s so fat, fat girl, look at your belly fat”, etc.
As women, we are programmed to criticize and compare other women. Maybe we can’t stop other people from criticizing us, but we can stop criticizing ourselves.
The next time my mind involuntarily remembers someone else’s cruel words, I hope to remember your words above as well. Maybe I can replace the self-hate that naturally follows with positivity/hope.
Ummm… It says pubicly, which is my worst typo fear. But seriously, it is an inspirational article.
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i am a younger reader. im in my teens. and i have had a battle with weight from a very young age. my father was built bigger but for him it was alright because of his size. i am 5’2 and weigh almost 200 lbs. but looking at me you would never know it.. i am active. i cheer, and lift weights, condition, and run. and i just LOVE to eat. but i have been given inspirtation through this story. i feel that i can loose weight, with perseverance. and this has given me the stregth that i need to have that will power, and a healthy relationship with myself. and i now am looking at things differently. and to that i say Thank You.
Love the positivity and encouragement of this post. Dr. Brooke, you are amazing!
It’s interesting how we generally accept a diagnosis and direction from our doctors and pay no mind to how it applies to them – I don’t think about my dermatologist’s skin , or how white my dentist’s teeth are. Yet when it comes to nutrition and weight loss, we somehow project our insecurities onto the doctor/nutritionist who is giving us useful info. Is it because weight loss is so closely tied with self-esteem?
Thank you for sharing. My best friend went through a crazy diet a few months ago after she visited a so-called nutritionist. The diet was not only strict but not scientifically based, and she wasn’t including any exercise into her lifestyle. She has always been very sedentary and had unhealthy habits such as tons of frozen foods and such. She was also going through a bad moment. I feel that this diet was a way of punishing herself for everything that she hadn’t been able to achieve by doing something that meant sacrifice but also control. Although she stopped with her diet, I feel that she didn’t realize that the main issue is being a healthier person in general, and having a healthy relationship with yourself.