In the second of our three-part series, Blisstree demystifies the dairy and (not-quite-dairy) aisles.

It was time to leave the dairy section behind. We grabbed a cool bottle of goats’ milk, turned our back on the refrigerated section, and headed to the warm shelves of dairy alternatives. There was a time (college?) when ditching dairy meant only thing: soy. But today there lots of grain and nut “milks” around, making the non-dairy aisle a confusing place. So, after sampling some goats’ milk, we lapped up a few dairy alternatives to give you an unfiltered opinion on how the stuff in cardboard boxes actually tastes. (Most are available in vanilla and chocolate flavors, in addition to “original.” Whenever possible, we tried “original”; prices are from Whole Foods in New York City.) Then we got a second opinion from Kavita Jhaveri-Patel, a certified holistic health counselor. Stay logged in next week when we delve deeper into the non-dairy aisles and sample others like hazelnut and oat milk.

Goats’ Milk

What it really is: Milk from a goat, not a cow. In many parts of the world, it’s more common, and more popular, than the moo.
What it really tastes like: Big surprise, it tastes a bit like goat cheese! Goats’ milk is a bit tangier than cow’s milk, with the same appealing, bright white color and creamy consistency.
Price: $3.99/32 ounces
Reasons to drink up: “It’s an awesome milk to start drinking,” says Jhaveri-Patel, “especially for the lactose intolerant.” Goats’ milk has a naturally lower level of lactose than cow’s milk, and its fat globules do not clump together, making it easier to digest.
Reasons to spit up: “If you don’t like goat cheese, you probably won’t like goat milk because it tastes exactly like it,” says Jhaveri-Patel. We enjoyed the taste, but it’s not for everyone. Goats’ milk is also harder to find, especially in low-fat options, and it’s a bit pricey.

Soy Milk

What it really is: A supposedly tasty beverage made from ground soy beans and water
What it really tastes like: A light khaki color with a consistency similar to skim or low-fat cow’s milk, Whole Food’s 365 brand’s organic unsweetened soy milk went down pretty easily, with a mild nutty taste that adds an extra kick to coffee or chai. But it’s not for everyone; one taster called out its cardboard notes.
Price: $1.69/32 ounces
Reasons to drink up: An inexpensive dairy alternative, it’s usually at the coffee counter, and, according to an article in this week’s Seattle Times, Starbucks® plans to roll  out a soy Frappuccino® beginning in May. And Jhaveri-Patel notes, “It’s a great source of protein, B vitamins, and iron.”
Reasons to spit up: Once the go-to dairy alternative, soy milk is now mired in controversy. “I actually don’t recommend it, even for vegans or the lactose intolerant,” Jhaveri-Patel says. “Retail soy milk is an extremely processed form of soy, and soy beans are the hardest beans to digest because of their enzymes.” For those who eat and drink a lot of soy products, there’s also concern over soy’s isoflavones – plant compounds that mimic estrogen. In recent years, research has found that isoflavones may impact fertility, and fetal and infant development.

Almond Milk

What it really is: A supposedly tasty beverage made from ground raw almonds
What it really tastes like: Pretty delicious with a nice, creamy texture – think whole cow’s milk – and a distinct but mild almond flavor.
Price: $2.69/32 ounces
Reasons to drink up: “I personally recommend almond milk; it’s a great source for good fat but without lactose or cholesterol,” says Jhaveri-Patel. Good pick for those looking for a smooth, creamy, dairy alternative.
Reasons to spit up: “The downside is that it’s processed and fortified,” says Jhaveri-Patel. But you can easily make it at home by soaking raw almonds overnight and then tossing them in a blender. For some, it may also be too creamy, and it’s a bit lower in calcium than cow’s milk or soy milk. And, obviously, it’s a no-go for those with nut allergies. It may also cause allergic reactions in oral allergy syndrome sufferers.

Rice Milk

What it really is: A supposedly tasty beverage processed from brown rice.
What it really tastes like: We gagged not once, but twice, sampling Whole Food’s 365 brand rice milk. It had the wateriest consistency of the bunch and was extremely, sickly sweet. (Not surprisingly, the second ingredient, after rice milk, was rice syrup.) One tester said it was reminiscent of another, more pleasurable rice product – sake – but that might have been vaguely delusional.
Price: $1.69/32 ounces
Reasons to drink up: “Rice milk is a great option; I rank it right up there with almond milk,” says Jhaveri-Patel. “It has more carbohydrates than cow milks and has a lighter taste and texture.” She says it’s a good option if you find almond milk too creamy.
Reasons to spit up: While typically high in fiber and complex carbs, it’s low in protein (thanks to the brown rice component), and Jahaveri-Patel notes “commercial varieties usually add some sort of sweetener and vitamins.” But, as with almond milk, you can make it yourself. We found the taste pretty nauseating, and the ingredient list on the 365 brand a bit lengthy, but those who favor a watery dairy alternative, it’s not a bad choice.

Hemp Milk

What it really is: A supposedly tasty beverage made from seeds of the hemp plant. Since it’s illegal for U.S. farmers to grow hemp, it typically comes from Canada. But don’t get too excited, Woody Harrelson: We said the seeds of the plant, not its fun leaves.
What it really tastes like: “That’s the color of cum!” exclaimed one taster looking at the shiny, yellow-tinged watery white liquid. Things didn’t improve from there. While we sampled the Tempt brand’s original flavor, the taste was anything but tempting. Rather, the overpowering smell and taste conjured rotten vegetables, and the watery texture didn’t help matters.
Price: $3.99/32 ounces
Reasons to drink up: “It’s a great option,” says Jhaveri-Patel, noting that hemp milk is a good source of Omega-3 and 6 fatty acids.
Reasons to spit up: “It’s a little pungent,” concedes Jhaveri-Patel. That’s putting it lightly; this was our worst-tasting milk of the batch.

all photos: Hailey Eber

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