Giulia Melucci, author, "I Loved, I Lost, I Made Spaghetti"

Whenever I start dating someone new, I just can’t hold back. No matter how often my girlfriends warn me, “Take it slow, let him win you over, don’t give it away so quickly,” I just can’t resist – I have to cook for him.
My longtime dating career has been marked by good food and disappointing boyfriends. To seduce, charm, and hold onto a bevy of ill-fitting suitors, I’ve made every kind of food from simple pastas, to labor intensive cassoulets, and all kinds of desserts. I’ve dated every sort of man: artist, lawyer, banker, and writer, kind and unkind, ready to commit, and as amenable to commitment as I am to eating at Olive Garden.

I come from a long line of great cooks on two continents. I don’t want to blame my forebears for my romantic troubles, but I will say this: My mother was better at advising me on how to get the pasta dough to unstick, than she was with helping me through any sticky love affair. Her answer would always be to give more. Drive him to the airport the day after you break up. That kind of thing.

And so I cooked and cooked, even when it just wasn’t worth it anymore, never knowing when to throw down my apron, and with no clear idea of what I wanted for dinner. I was better at nourishing other people than I was myself. I’m not saying I’m some kind of saint. I’m not. That kind of co-dependent behavior is not selfless, it’s just stupid.

Understanding healthy giving, giving that feels good, is an important component to a good relationship. And what exactly is a good relationship? That’s something we’ll be discussing here in future columns. I’ve been trying to figure out the answer for a long time. Right now I’m in a relationship that’s making me happy, with a guy who doesn’t care if I cook or not. But I do cook, because I can’t help it. But it feels different this time. Now, I worry less about whether or not it’s perfect. I was hung up on perfection for a long time, trying to find it in the food I made, because it was nowhere to be found in any of my relationships. These days I’m less concerned about finding something perfect – and instead just trying to enjoy something that feels right.

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Here’s contributor Carole Braden’s first of four posts in the debut of Blisstree’s Self-Help Test-Drive.

It was Marshie, an acquaintance from the Internet, who hooked me up with my spacey brain candy from the Centerpointe Research Institute. We happened to be living nearly identical fertility nightmares, and had been introduced through email by friends. I liked her wacky name and caring notes, and revealed to her the harrowing turns of my years-long kid quest.

In response to my online opining about how crazy-making a course of IVF – in which I was then embroiled – could be, Marshie asked me a key question: “How relaxed are you?”

How relaxed? Not one iota. Despite my devotion to yoga and weekly treatments from an acupuncturist, I had to admit it: I couldn’t recall experiencing anything more than lamely feigned relaxation in eons. The knots posing as a second set of shoulder blades on my back – and the ever-deepening furrows in my brow – confirmed it. I was frighteningly tense, both in mind and body. And I knew it was true: My guitar-string disposition wasn’t doing anything for my baby desires.

Marshie told me that, in addition to the things I was doing, she’d taken up meditation. But it wasn’t the sort of deep, legs-crossed meditation that yogis teach – and take years of work to master. It was a shortcut tool for releasing stressed thoughts and taut muscles, and it involved listening to some sounds from a CD every day. “I don’t at all enjoy the sitting and clearing your mind part of meditation,” she explained. “With this it doesn’t matter. You can listen to it while you plan your menu for the week!”

But what was “it”? I definitely didn’t believe that a couple of discs I could upload to my iPod would end my plight. Besides, I didn’t want to wake in the morning to find I suddenly subscribed to the scriptures of an insidious underworld cult. Marshie said it wasn’t like that. The sounds were a mellowing combination of tolling bells and falling rain, and had behind them a brainwave technology known as Holosync. “It has to do with balancing left and right brain,” she said. “It has calmed me tremendously.”

I still didn’t buy it. The CDs had to be purchased over the Web, and cost close to $200. Still, I was intrigued. I went to the Centerpointe website, requested a free demo CD that the company was offering, and started reading about the program. I admit, I anxiously awaited that complimentary disc. I liked the idea of making my way to a happier, healthier state. And, of course, letting my headphones do the work.

I had been depressed and dragging myself out of bed every morning for months, but I was about to develop a new addiction – one that would have me waking up early with pleasure and starting each day in a puzzlingly positive state of mind.

Carole Braden is a freelance writer based in New York City. She’s currently seeking her bliss on a three-month trip zig-zagging South Africa.

Post from: BlissTree

John Deere planter from Potted

Dawdling daffodils got you down? Shrugging off the aftershocks of Snowmageddon could be as easy as picking up a hyacinth at the supermarket. But doesn’t a mood-boosting, stress-busting houseplant – not to mention your house – deserve better than a plastic pot wrapped in garish foil?

Blisstree says yes. This spring, turn over a new leaf with cutting-edge containers for your favorite greens.

Boskke Sky Planters turn traditional containers on their head, literally. Inverted plants are held in place with a locking ring and kept hydrated with a self-watering reservoir that needs filling once or twice a month (from $25 at Velocity).

Woolly Pockets, made of felt from recycled plastic bottles and a moisture barrier, offer a breathable spot for your greens to grow. The design ushers in oxygen, allowing the soil to aerate naturally, meaning less drainage and less watering. In other words, less work! Choose Wally, for vertical gardening, Meadows for horizontal surfaces, or Islands, a new, multifaceted design (from $29 at Woolly Pocket Garden Company).

The DP: 1 Urban Terrarium playfully comments on the connection between energy use and the environment. Created from recycled utility meters, the glass bulb (with vent for air and watering) is deep enough to accommodate growing medium (soil) and two small succulents, which are included with purchase ($150 at Sprout Home).

Charming, cheerful, and cheeky are just a few ways to describe the indescribably kitchy-cool plantings from Potted in Los Angeles. Repurposed vintage containers – tennis ball cans, toy trucks, wagons, and tool boxes – provide plenty of DIY inspiration, if you don’t happen to be within the shop’s delivery radius (from $19).

Garden Tarts debut just a single design each year. The chosen one for 2010?  The Circle Pot, a mod looker made of glazed ceramic. It accommodates 4” nursery plants and can be tabled or hung – stainless aircraft cable included ($75 at Potted, 323-665-3801).

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Remember Tuesday night’s Asperger’s storyline involving the character of little Max Braverman? Well, according to a CBS News.com article, the word “Asperger’s” was Google’s most popular search term on Wednesday. (Oddly, ratings-wise, “Parenthood” didn’t win its Tuesday night time slot.)

And, while there’s nothing funny about Asperger’s Syndrome, here’s something we can laugh about. On Wednesday, Google’s third most searched-for term was this attempted version: “assburgers.”

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What does she think, post-Bigelow’s Oscar glory? In her latest Bigelow brief, she says: “It’s too early to know if this moment will be transformative – but damn, it feels so good.”

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Parenthood follows the “very large, very colorful, and imperfect Braverman family”, and kicks off when single mother Sarah (played by Lauren Graham) moves back home with her kids. Dramas quickly unfold: Sarah finds condoms in her Dad’s office, her sister Julia struggles to balance career and motherhood, the kids get caught with drugs, and her brother Crosby discovers that his girlfriend is pursuing artificial insemination in response to his inability to commit.

But one of the most fascinating and sensitive topics to riddle the Braverman family is the odd behavior of Sarah’s nephew, Max. The pilot episode strings together his bizarre childhood behavior, and he sees a counselor who diagnoses him with Asperger Syndrome. (It turns out, one of the show’s developers, Jason Katims, has a son with Asperger’s.)

Max Braverman, pre-Asperger diagnosis.

The family – macho Dad, loving Mom, and strict Grandfather – all struggle with the news. “There’s something wrong with my son,” says Dad to Grandpa. This is only the beginning, but we’ll be watching how these folks cope with this and other real-life issues.

What do you think of NBC’s “Parenthood” so far? Leave us your comments.

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Natural and organic alternatives to household cleaners and soaps have been around for ages, but only recently have companies started coming up with alternatives to chemical-laden hand sanitizers. Coming on the heels of ubiquitous alcohol-based hand sanitizers like Purell, several new “natural” brands are now on the market. They tout natural, organic, and/or plant-based ingredients, claiming to be less harsh than the nearly pure alcohol found in many traditional sanitizers on shelves. But is this just another case of greenwashing? We checked out three popular brands to find out what’s really keeping our hands clean.

EO Hand Sanitizer – It contains 62% organic ethanol, distilled from certified organic, non-GMO sugar cane. When we asked the company what the difference is between this and alcohol found in other products, they responded that it “allows our customers the most pure product possible that will be the safest to their skin.”

Burt’s Bees Aloe & Witch Hazel Hand Sanitizer – Though the product features aloe and witch hazel as primary ingredients, the spray still contains 62% ethyl alcohol. According to their website, that’s “corn-based” alcohol, but it’s not certified organic, GMO-free, or – as far as we can tell – any different from the alcohol used in traditional hand-sanitizers. Aloe and witch hazel both have healing properties, lessening the harsh effects of alcohol, but otherwise, this one is surprisingly not so “natural”.

CleanWell – The only sanitizer of the three that is actually alcohol-free, CleanWell’s products contain thyme oil, citric acid, and orange oil. Though the product isn’t certified organic, its ingredients are grown without fertilizers or pesticides, and are biodegradable.

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Post from: BlissTree

Be Careful How You Carry That Baby

Today, the Huffington Post announced that the Consumer Product Safety Commission is expected to issue a warning about baby slings. Various critics of the slings complain that they force the baby’s head forward into a position that makes it difficult for him or her to breathe, while others worry that it presses the infant into the mother’s chest, also making breathing labored.

Since November, the CPSC has also issued recalls on at least three brands of strollers, including Maclaren, CYBEX, and, most recently, approximately 1.5 million Graco strollers. It also nixed Dorel infant car seat/carriers last December.

We’re not sure if there’s a global conspiracy against babies, or if the CPSC just really wants you to ditch your little one (after the sitter arrives, of course) and take a much-needed break. But if you do want to be mobile with baby-in-tow, think seriously before selecting a sling.

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“International Women’s Day: What Are You Carrying” Video from The New York Times

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