Bear with us: We’re not living out childhood antagonism against the mean lunch lady here. We’re talking about food that kids eat when they’re at school, and that’s everyone’s responsibility.

The story goes like this: School budget cuts lead to lunch budget cuts lead to unhealthy fast food in cafeterias. Right now, the U.S. Department of Agriculture gives an average of $2.68 per day for each student’s school lunch. When was the last time you made a nutritious, filling meal for less than three bucks?  Well, schools can’t do it either. The french fries, sloppy joes, nachos, and sugary drinks served in schools fall way short of growing kids’ nutritional needs. What’s worse, it’s exactly the kind of diet that leads to obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.

Spank your kids in public, and chances are you’ll get some dirty looks. Abuse or neglect your children, and you’ll (hopefully) get a visit from Social Services. Feed them a diet that inflicts serious future health problems? Nobody really cares.

Of course, there are plenty of researchers and activists who’ve been pressing this issue for a long time, and these days it’s finally getting some real star power: Michelle Obama, Jamie Oliver, and Oprah are just some of the high-profile names who are trying to draw attention to this subject. But to put more money into school lunches, and change the way our kids eat, this issue has to reach critical mass.

Do you think that feeding kids junk food in schools is child abuse? Take our poll.

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Let’s Go Ride a Bike – Written by two women who commute in Nashville and Chicago, Let’s Go Ride a Bike is full of anecdotes and photos to convince women that biking is simple, stylish, and fun.

Copenhagen Cycle Chic – If you believe that there’s no way to ride a bike and still look good, this blog will change your mind. They’ve been posting shots of smart-looking cyclists since 2006.

Riding Pretty – If it has to do with fashion and bikes, you’ll find it here. Plus, you can find info about upcoming “Tweed Rides” across the country and around the globe with the chicest bike-riders we’ve ever seen.

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Eric McCormack and Sherry Stringfield in "Who Is Clark Rockefeller?" (photo: mylifetime.com)

We’re staying in this Saturday night. Why? Because “Who Is Clark Rockefeller?” premieres March 13 (9 p.m. ET) on Lifetime, that’s why. (Remember the con-man who pretended to be a Rockefeller, duped his wife, and kidnapped his own daughter?) That’s the one. Blisstree simply cannot get enough of these so-bad-they’re-good-based-on-a-true-story-melodramas that likely star the girl from “Growing Pains,”or “Hello, Larry,” or, in this case, Eric McCormack (he’ll always be “Will” to our Grace) and Sherry Stringfield. (there is life after “ER”!)

Lifetime movie addicts, rejoice.

Hopefully, the movie’s trailer will tide you over until it airs:

Post from: BlissTree

Eco-Friendly – Bedol’s Water-Powered Alarm Clock

By filling up this travel-size alarm clock with tap water and lemon juice, it miraculously runs for 6-8 weeks.  No batteries, no plug. Why can’t all of our appliances work this way? ($29)

For People Who Can’t Wake Up – Nanda Home’s Clocky

If you snooze, you lose. After the initial alarm, Clocky actually jumps off your nightstand and wheels around your room, forcing you to get out of bed and chase down the snooze button. ($39)

High Tech – The “Sleep Cycle” App

Did you think there wouldn’t be an app for this? Supposedly, if you place your phone on the edge of your mattress, Sleep Cycle tracks your movement, translates that into sleep cycle data, and calculates your optimal wake-up time within a half-hour window leading up to the time you set. We’re not sure how much it’s been tested, but for $0.99, we’d try it just to get that cool graph of our sleep cycle. ($0.99)

High Design – Furni’s Gator Se Clock

Furni’s wooden clocks are handcrafted by a couple of dudes in Montreal, which makes us love them even more. The minimal, pretty design is available in several types of wood, including walnut, beech, and dark mahogany. ($128 – $148)

Post from: BlissTree

Ever wondered how fundamentalist Mormon polygamists get those rockin’ hairstyles? Or how they compete against seven other sister-wives for their husband’s attention? It turns out there’s a manual: Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin is a popular choice for young women in FLDS communities. Carolyn Jessop mentioned the book and some of its tips in her book Escape, and we at TheGloss knew we had to get our hands on a copy. Here are some tips that will help you be the perfect subservient wife:

• “If he is talking about politics, religion, or world events, don’t follow the conversation so closely that you fail to appreciate the man talking. … If you cannot comprehend all of what he is saying, do not let this lull you to sleep. Look for traits of character which you can admire.”
• “The most important way to enhance your femininity is in the home, serving the wife, mother, and homemaker. Here you have a field in which to grow as a woman. As you love and care for your children, cheerfully devote yourself to the ordinary chores of the household, and serve as the understanding wife, you acquire gentle, feminine traits. … Your devotion to household, family, and charity enhances feminine charm, whereas employment outside the home does little or nothing for it.”
• “The Domestic Goddess adds feminine touches to her homemaking – gingham curtains, a bowl of fruit, soft pillows, a soft rug at the door, a row of plates above a crossbeam, cheerful wallpaper – to give a homey feeling to the house. … The Domestic Goddess honors her position in the home. She looks upon her career in the home as the most important career in the world. Creating a happy marriage and family life and raising honorable children are the greatest contributions she can make to the well-being of society.”
• “Avoid all processed or refined foods such as white flour, white sugar, white rice, or foods that contain them such as macaroni, crackers, cold cereal, cookies, cakes, pies, doughnuts, pizza, spaghetti, candy, gum, or ice cream. Beware of foods which come in boxes, bottles, cans, or packages. Avoid canned or frozen food. Avoid cold cuts of meat, ham, sausage, or wieners.”
• “You don’t have the right to be angry when your husband has failed in his world of responsibility, when he has made a stupid mistake in his work or lost his job, or neglected to cut the lawn, balance the budget, or wash the car. He has a right to be himself, even if it means to be weak and lazy, to neglect his duty, or even to fail. This is his department.”
• “When buying a house, don’t consider your children’s comforts and whims ahead of your husband’s needs and requests.  Don’t press him to buy a house beyond his means, feeling it best for the children, or ignore a feature in the house that pleases him, while yielding to the whims of your children. He may have always wanted a view, a deck, a pool, or a private study. Although he may forego these preferences to honor his wife’s choice, he is not inclined to place his children’s wishes ahead of his own.”
• “If you have talent as an artist, writer, designer, actress, singer, scientist, or in the technical fields, should you pursue a career? Think twice before you take this step. Your foremost duty is to your marriage and family. Here you must succeed. A career may sidetrack you from your family. Not only will a career demand your time, but your interest and sometimes your soul. If your husband and your family must be second place, you are making an unwise choice. The price you pay is too high.”

I cannot believe I read (by which I mean “flipped through while looking for particularly odious passages”) more than three hundred pages of this dreck and I still don’t know how to do the rockin’ prairie sister-wife ‘do. I feel really ripped off. Helen Andelin, call me! Do you use Aqua Net? I really need to know.

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To save you from falling into that rabbit hole, we’ve picked a few of our favorite AT posts from this week:

Apartment to drool over: Sara and Michael’s Bohemian Salvage

DIY Project: The $20 Wine Box Kitchen Shelving Solution

Everyday Tips and Tricks: Personalized Pancakes

Clean Home, Clean Body: Choosing a Water Filter for Your Shower

Objects of Desire: Quirky Toothbrush Holders 
 
 

All Photos: apartmenttherapy.com

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photo: Thinkstock

In the quest for a greener tomorrow, “eco-friendly” dry cleaning was only a matter of time. According to a Wall Street Journal article, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency has begun to phase out the old, tried-and-true method of dry cleaning our clothes. That process didn’t involve water, but instead, a chemical called perchloroethylene, or “PERC,” that violates the Clean Air Act, and, according to the International Agency for Research on Cancer, contains a probable human carcinogen.

These days, you have four ways to dry clean your clothes that are allegedly kinder to the environment. One is “wet-cleaning,” which involves water, a special detergent, and high-tech machinery. The other three are eerily similar to the PERC method: no water, and a CO2, hydro-carbon, and silicone-based cleanser. But are these processes actually easier on the environment – and do they live up to our sartorial standards?

Answer: Kind of. These new methods still use chemicals that are toxic to the air, just not as toxic as PERC. As for how your duds look afterward, these “eco-friendly” methods often produce the same final result.

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– Oscar Wilde

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Sad Pregnant Woman

I’m always intrigued — and frankly, quite skeptical — when Hollywood star moms-to-be gush over how much they love being pregnant. They wax on about how they’ve never felt better or sexier. They blather about how beautiful their skin looks and silky their hair feels. My all-time favorite, however, is when they exclaim that they wish they could be pregnant forever. Better them than me, I say.

For me, pregnancy sucked. Getting pregnant sucked even worse. A little back story: My husband and I had tried for about a year to have a kid the old fashioned way. No baby showed, so we moved on to fertility drugs, and then artificial insemination. Still nothing. So we brought in the big guns – in vitro fertilization – because it turned out we were, reproductively speaking, a bad combination. Nice words to hear from your fertility specialist.

Fast forward four years and thousands of dollars later. The fourth in vitro attempt worked and an ultrasound proved I was pregnant. Understandably relieved, I naively thought the worst was over. Turns out, nine months is a very long time. Endless, actually. I did, however, make it through the first trimester with no symptoms other than exhaustion and fear of miscarriage. Not a bit of morning sickness. In fact, I felt so good that I got a little cocky about it. I thought I was a natural at this pregnancy thing. Wrong.

Then came the second trimester. On a trip to California, I was walking the streets of San Francisco when severe shooting pains caused me to double over. (What followed was an excruciating walk back to my hotel with many strange looks from passersby.) Turns out, uterine fibroids were causing the pain. Most unfortunately, my doctor said there was nothing I could do about it. The good news, she said, was that the fibroids would shrink after pregnancy. Fantastic! Four more months to go.

At this point in my pregnancy, I also began to experience light-headedness every morning on my way to work. I’d be on the train and start to see black spots in front of me. I’d put my head between my knees (or as close as I could get before bumping into my baby bump). Sometimes the faint feeling would hit as I was walking through Grand Central Station or standing at the deli counter paying for my decaf iced coffee. I’d sit down on a bench or even the floor until I was confident that I could race to my office, where I would lay, for a while, on my carpet. A couple of times, my co-workers thought I was dead. At least they checked on me, which was nice.

Then there was the constipation. I’m embarrassed to admit it (and apologize to my boss for all the time lost), but I would disappear into the bathroom for, I kid you not, 45 minutes to try and poop. I literally would have to strip down to my naked self because I’d be sweating so badly. I would brace my arms against the walls of the stall and contort myself into various positions in order to get something moving down there. It was beyond painful. Oh, and humiliating. I tried my best to ensure that no one else was present while I attended to my business, but if you’ve ever shared a communal bathroom at work, you know how successful that can be.

During my seventh month of pregnancy, my skin positively erupted. I had angry red blotches all over my body that itched nonstop. My dermatologist said it didn’t look like PUPP, a rash that usually shows up mainly on the stomach. She said it would clear up after the baby was born. Great, I said. Eight. More. Weeks. Of. Itching. Oatmeal baths at night helped a little, but mostly I was miserable. I’ve no doubt that I looked slightly insane as I scratched wildly and constantly over those last two months.

Just so you know, I did feel guilty that I’d tried so hard to get pregnant, and then found it something to get through rather than something to enjoy. The best part about my pregnancy? The end part. I arrived at the hospital at 6 a.m. for a scheduled C-section, and at 8:49 a.m., my son was born. Thank God he’s cute. Because today, when people ask me if I’m going to give him a sibling, I smile my most beatific maternal smile and coo, “Absolutely not!”

Elizabeth Rippey is a writer and editor who lives in Richmond, VA, with her husband and one-and-only child.

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